How to support your child through intense emotions

Support your child through their intense emotions with calm and connection. Every gesture counts towards their well-being.

When intense emotions arise, it can be difficult for both you and your child. Shouting, crying, or shutting down are often signs that your child’s nervous system feels overwhelmed, not that they are disobeying. Connection-based parenting helps you face these moments with calm and empathy, so your child feels safe enough to relax.

Here are 3 small but powerful ways to help your child calm intense emotions:

1. Stay calm yourself

Children “borrow” our nervous system. When you take a deep breath, lower your voice, or simply sit in silence, your calm energy helps your child’s body feel safe and begin to regulate.

2. Create a safe space

Instead of saying “Go to your room,” try: “Let’s sit together until you feel calmer.” Staying close shows that you are not afraid of their emotions and that you will remain connected, even when things get difficult.

3. Use short and simple words

In moments of intensity, lengthy explanations can overwhelm a dysregulated child. Use calm and simple phrases like: “You are safe,” “I am here,” or “Let’s breathe together.” Fewer words create more safety and understanding.

Remember:

Helping your child calm down is not about control; it’s about co-regulation. When you stay centered and connected, your child learns that emotions are not something to fear, but something we can go through together.

You are doing a wonderful job learning new ways to connect and calm. Every quiet breath and gentle response you offer helps strengthen your child’s emotional resilience.